Darph Bobo versus Darth Maul

The premier dark clown in the universe, Darph Bobo is an antagonist from Tripping the Rift. People will recognize Darth Maul as a Sith from The Phantom Menance and a poor man’s Darth Vader. I have all the respect in the world for the fight scenes he was in, but it’s hard to get over my hatred for the poor quality of this villain (I tend to blame it on Lucas, though I could be wrong).

Round One:
The scene: a giant arena, specially crafted to contain the cataclysmic fights on this page.

In one corner, Darph Bobo, standing tall and proud with two storm troopers next to him.

In the other corner, Darth Maul, standing proud and not so tall, warming up for the main event.

And the battle of Vader parodies begins. Let’s see, based on the films they were in, Darph Bobo can blast lightning from his fingertips and make people’s heads explode. Darth Maul can jump real high and run real fast.

Darth Maul uses his Jedi powers to dodge Darph Bobo’s lightning attacks, and eventually works his way behind Darph Bobo. Bobo turns around in surprise just as Darth Maul starts his lightsaber, chuckling slightly as he goes in for the kill. He is then pistol whipped from behind by one of Darph Bobo’s soldiers, and goes down. Round One goes to Darph Bobo.

Round Two:
Darph Bobo strikes with his lightsaber, and Darth Maul dodges aside, barely escaping death. He hops to his feet and advances into the center of the arena.

“Let us do battle blade to blade, without the aid of our other gifts.”

Darph Bobo agrees, and gives a side whisper to his guards to kill him if he starts to win. The battle goes quite evenly. Darth Maul is mainly on the defensive right now, and manages to trick Darph Bobo into slices one of his men to ribbons…not that it’s all that hard, but I just felt we needed a bit more gratuitous bloodshed here. Round Two goes to Darth Maul.

Round Three:
Darth Maul has been clearly toying with Darph Bobo, and suddenly goes on the offensive. Bobo is barely keeping up with his berserker attacks, and it looks like the battle is about to go to Darth Maul, when…

“That’s it…I’ve had enough!” Darph Bobo unleashes the powers of a dark clown, blasting Darth Maul square in the face with a lightning bolt. Darth Maul is staggered by this, but manages to regain his senses. Unfortunately, by the time he does, one of Darph Bobo’s guards realizes that Darth Maul is starting to win, and shoots him. Round Three goes to Darph Bobo, who wins the match through a dirty but technically legal trick.