Bert versus Ernie

We’ve already established Bert as an evil mastermind in the Tick versus Superman fight. Now we get to see the meanest puppet in the world take on his whipping boy, Ernie. Bert has kept his public image rather clean while running the underworld of Sesame Street for years. He is known for his one eyebrow, nasty disposition, and fetish for pigeons. Ernie has been abused by Bert for years. His only retaliation has been the occasional tearing off of Bert’s nose, for which he received severe beating once out of the view of the public. Ernie is arguably the most wholesome persona on Sesame Street (you don’t even want to know the type of stuff Elmo’s into…), and has kept his sanity for all these years thanks to the constant companionship of his Rubber Duckie.

The Tick versus Superman

The Tick is a simple-minded and stout-hearted defender of justice who fights crime in The City. He has a sidekick named Arthur who dresses like a moth and has a dog named Speke. The Tick is super strong and nigh invulnerable. He has a slight advantage here because he never died, came back, got split into four different heroes, lost his powers, gained his powers, got split into two more heroes, then suddenly went back to the way he was. Aside from that fiasco in the 1990s, Superman was born on the planet Krypton, where, depending on who has told his origin, either everybody was normal or everybody had super powers. On the eve of his planet’s death, he was rocketed off to Earth where he took up the alias of Clark Kent. He has super strength, speed, intelligence, nigh invulnerability, heat vision, x-ray vision, and flight.