Darth Vader versus Shaft

Of all the people that showed up to battle Shaft in the Shaft Takes on all Comers battle some time ago, the one person who seemed like a lock to show up was Darth Vader. But apparently Vader was spending too much time being anally raped by George Lucas’ bastard children of cinema that have come to be known as the Star Wars prequels. Luckily, the two blackest people in the galaxy are finally facing off against one another in what will surely be a battle to remember. (Or, if I screw up like Lucas did, one that we will hopefully all forget.)

Shaft versus Mace Windu

I’m using two characters played by the terrific actor Samuel L. Jackson for this fight. First is his rendition of John Shaft, the nephew of the original Shaft and the angriest black man alive. On the other end of the spectrum is Mace Windu, a Jedi master with skills in both the force and in combat.